Top Ten New Trading Symbols for Research in Motion befitting their future outlook

Don't get me wrong - I love my Blackberry and what Research in Motion has done for technology in Canada but I think the wheels have fallen off the good ship RIM and they need arightin'. The promotion of Thorsten Heins from COO to CEO looks just the opposite of "Bold" as RIM's twitter feed purports it to be.

So while RIM stock goes down faster than an Olympic downhill skier - here are the Top Ten new trading symbols RIM should switch to:

10. GRIM

9. RIP (as in Ripoff or Rest In Peace)

8. RUM (what you need to drink to invest in this stock)

7. DIM

6. OHNO!

5. OOPS

4. G'LUCK (you'll need it)

3. LMAO (as in Losing My Assets Off)

2. RIB (what it'll cost you to invest)

And the #1 new trading Symbol for Research in Motion is:

1. MSFT.B (or AMZN.B , NOK.B depending on what takeover rumor you believe)

Happy Friday

~Friday~Funnies~For January 6th Top 10 Similes for patching the roof

So with the warm weather in Saskatchewan we discovered a leak in the roof -fortunately it was to the outside soffit (I think that it what it is called?)but I figured I better patch it before it happens inside. So I went down to the hardware store for some roof tar and got up on the roof and started applying a generous amount of roof tar to the leaky spots. How much stuff did I put on? Well it was like . . .

Top 10 Similes for patching the roof

10. A redneck slathering butter on a corncob.

9. Ketchup on burnt meatloaf.

8. Oil on a seagull in the Gulf of Mexico.

7. A Teenager putting on aftershave on prom night.

6.Tears on my pillow after the Canucks lost to the Bruins in the Stanley Cup final last June.

5. Paparazzi on a Kardashian.

4. A politician making campaign promises.

3. A kid putting sugar on bran flakes.

2. Gold chains on a Rap star.

1. Snow on the prairies!

Happy Friday!

Top 10 things you can do with a stolen truckload of 5000 Blackberry Playbooks

10. Trade them for 1 iPad.

9. Put them in a Museum of oddities with the Edsel, Aztec, De Lorean and Lisa Computer

8. Put Apple logos on them and sell them in 3rd world countries

7. Use them to get a ride across town on the bus*

6. Sell them with bubble gum just like they used to do with hockey cards

5. Trade them for about 5 Million shares in Research in Motion

4. Use them to claim the prize of World's Unluckiest Criminal.

3. Unbox them and take the cardboard to the recycling center for 2cents a pound.

2. Sell $10 raffle tickets for 5000 Ipads and then when the winner comes to claim his prize give him a refund for his ticket.

1.Trade them for a truck load of Saskatchewan Roughrider jerseys.

*This assumes that there was a bus token stuck between two of the playbooks.

~Friday~Funnies~Top Ten ways to get to a resolution in the the Phoenix Coyotes Bankruptcy case

Not so long ago in a desert not so far away Judge Redfield T. Baum shocked the courtroom in the Phoenix Coyotes Bankruptcy preceedings by saying he might choose neither the NHL's bid or Blackberry Billionaire Balsillie's bid (yes, I am a sucker for alliteration) for the troubled NHL Franchise. Obviously they need some help to get things done down there so here are:

The Top Ten ways to get to a resolution in the Phoenix Coyotes bankruptcy case:

10. Move all the Hamiltonians to Phoenix. (Hey, It might be cheaper at this rate!)

9. Make the NHL promise to implement the Top Ten Ways the Phoenix Coyotes can stretch their finances.

8. Make Jim Balsillie give everyone involved a free blackberry.

7. Get Barack Obama to annex Hamilton, Ontario as part of the United States, then Gary Bettman could say he is not putting a team in Canada.

6. Make it snow in Phoenix - that way people won't have anything else to do but watch hockey.

5. Make Jim Balsillie show Gary Bettman how to read email on his blackberry.

4. Tell Federal Reserve Chairmen Benjamin Bernanke that the Coyotes are actually a bank and they need bailout money.

3. Move the courtroom to Glendale arena so they can charge tickets for this sideshow. They would probably sell more tickets than the Coyotes!

2. Make the Phoenix Cardinals football team move back to St. Louis so their is less competition for fans.

1. Make the Judge actually watch the games from last year - then he will for sure let them go to Hamilton!

Happy Friday everyone! Good luck to Baum, Balsillie and Bettman!