Computers are wonderful things. . . when they do what they are supposed to do. When they don't, well then they are just a pain in the neck and you wish we still used pencils and paper. You gotta have a little chuckle though when someone describes the problem as the computer has "lost it's brains". So just in case this ever happens to you here are the Top 10 things you should do if the computer loses it's brains again*:
10. Make an animal sacrifice to appease those responsible.
9. When people call in to complain put them on hold and play 'Don't Worry Be Happy!" by Bobby McFerrin
8. Go to Wal-Mart to buy more brains. (They have everything don't they?)
7. Invite the Computer into the boardroom and then after a lengthy chewing out process yell "You're Fired!"
6. Kick the computer you are working at (it won't help but it'll make you feel better)
5. Crawl into the fetal position and repeat " I love my computer and my computer loves me. " until you feel better or the problem goes away whichever comes first.
4. Think Happy thoughts (but stay away from the "Pixie Dust" until 5:01PM)
3. Console customers that this problem is nothing compared to what they lost in their pension plans in 2008.
2. Take the rest of the day off. (Hey if the computer is not working why should I?)
1. Blame your pointy-haired Boss!
Happy Green, Payday Friday! And Go Riders!!
*Do NOT try any of these things without the express written permission from your immediate supervisor, your area manager, the board of directors, your insurance agent, your area techie, your spouse and Bill Gates.
