Top 10 Things that can save Blackberry from bankruptcy

Back in January 2012 I wrote about how bad the outlook was for Research in Motion. Little did I know how bad it was going to be. In addition to more than halving it's share price, the company's has had massive layoffs, product delays, and even a fine in hundreds of millions of US Dollars. 

But let's not dwell on the negative!

Here are the Top Ten things that can save RIM:

10. Develop an application that helps users distinguish between the North Korean and South Korean Flags

9. Allow kids to run with scissors safely.

8. Grant users immortality.

7. Blackberry 10 transforms into your own personal Optimus Prime

 6. Create App that can turn back time (to like June 20th 2008 maybe when RIM was $148/share.)

5. Google comes out with their own useless superheroes advertising campaign for their Android phones

 4. Do the opposite of whatever Nortel did when they went from ~$140 to $0.

3. It's as easy as out-marketing, out-maneuvering, and out-innovating two top US technology companies in the universe (and do it today!).

2. Add button to turn your Blackberry into a fully functioning light saber.

And the #1 thing that can save Research in Motion is. . .

1. The US Government buys out Apple - they can ruin ANYthing*

*Don't worry though this will never happen - 'cause Apple has more money than the US Gov't.

Happy Friday everyone - Enjoy the London 2012 Olympics!

Top Ten Things Gary Bettman forgot to ask for in the proposed NHL bargaining agreement

So even in the middle of July the NHL can make headlines (and fodder for punchlines).  Gary Bettman and the NHL have asked for several changes in their proposal to the NHLPA to try to bring down costs for owners. Among them are a roughly 24% decrease in pay across the board! It has been called in various news sources a "Declaration of War" or "Shot across the bow" or " almost guaranteeing a lockout this fall" .   So what else could Gary Bettman possibly have asked for in the NHL CBA proposal? I am glad you asked.

Top Ten Things Gary Bettman forgot to ask for in the proposed NHL bargaining agreement:

10. Players must pay for their own equipment.

9. Player Family's must bake cookies for sale at the concession stand.

8. Players must make snow cones from snow at the side of the net.

7. Players must retrieve pucks from stands for re-use.



6. Visiting players must push the zamboni between periods.

5.  Player exercise bikes must be hooked up to owner's air conditioned luxury box suite.

4. All player dental replacements must have sponsor logo.

3. Players must perform in private Ice Capades show for NHL owners' kids twice a year -on Christmas Day and the day before the playoffs begin.

2. Players must build giant sphinx with head of Gary Bettman (the making of which will then be turned into as a reality TV show.

And the number #1 thing Gary Bettman forgot to ask for in the proposed NHL bargaining agreement:

1. Players must play for free in new expansion South American "Summer League" with teams in Venezuela, Nicarauga, Columbia and the Falkland Islands.