So even in the middle of July the NHL can make headlines (and fodder for punchlines). Gary Bettman and the NHL have asked for several changes in their proposal to the NHLPA to try to bring down costs for owners. Among them are a roughly 24% decrease in pay across the board! It has been called in various news sources a "Declaration of War" or "Shot across the bow" or " almost guaranteeing a lockout this fall" . So what else could Gary Bettman possibly have asked for in the NHL CBA proposal? I am glad you asked.Top Ten Things Gary Bettman forgot to ask for in the proposed NHL bargaining agreement:
10. Players must pay for their own equipment.
9. Player Family's must bake cookies for sale at the concession stand.
8. Players must make snow cones from snow at the side of the net.
7. Players must retrieve pucks from stands for re-use.
5. Player exercise bikes must be hooked up to owner's air conditioned luxury box suite.
4. All player dental replacements must have sponsor logo.
3. Players must perform in private Ice Capades show for NHL owners' kids twice a year -on Christmas Day and the day before the playoffs begin.
2. Players must build giant sphinx with head of Gary Bettman (the making of which will then be turned into as a reality TV show.
And the number #1 thing Gary Bettman forgot to ask for in the proposed NHL bargaining agreement:
1. Players must play for free in new expansion South American "Summer League" with teams in Venezuela, Nicarauga, Columbia and the Falkland Islands.
