Top 10 Good things about turning 40

Are you turning 40 and is depressed about it? Well take heart! Here is the good news for you when you are turning 40:

Top 10 Good things about turning 40

10-You don't have to write 3's as much-and we all know what a PAIN that can be.

9-You are old enough that the bad stuff you did when you were younger can't be found on the internet.

8-You can finally tell stories about how much you used to pay for a cup of coffee and how far it was for you to walk to school.

7- You are automatically seen as wiser than a 39 year old.

6-You can officially wear Red hats and purple sweaters.

5-You can take pleasure in the fact you haven't contracted furniture disease (the one where your chest drops into your drawers). 

4- Only 219,000 more hours until your retirement! (at age 65).

3-You are officially allowed to call people under 30 "young whippersnappers" with impunity

2.You can use 'failing eyesight' excuse to get new bigger monitor from Tech Support.

1-Life can begin.

Happy Friday everyone! Especially if you are turning 40!  

PS Extra 40th Birthday ideas for a movie buffs 

PPS - 40th Birthday Hashtag Humor for Jimmy Fallon!

Top Ten #CBAMovies

Today's post is gleaned from the Twitterverse.  In the days leading up to the NHL Lockout someone came up with the idea to mashup movies made for the CBA. Here is my Top Ten:

10. Indecent Proposal

9.True Lies

8.Bill and Gary's Bogus Agreement

7. The Sum of all Fehrs

6. The Never Ending Story

5. Ben-Fehr

4.Bettman Forever

3.For a few dollars more

2.There's Something about Gary

and the number one #CBAMovie

1.The Bettman Ultimatum



Happy Friday everyone!

Top Ten Star Trek Scenes that reflect the NHL CBA Negotiations

Well tomorrow is September 15th and there is no agreement in place between the NHL and the NHLPA. So tomorrow at 11:59pm the owners will lockout the players for the 3rd time in Gary Bettman's 18 year tenure. Gee whodathunkit?  But in case you haven't been following along with the CBA negotiations here is a Top Ten list to help explain it:

10. (TOS) When the Enterprise crew beams down to the planet to fight the alien and the always red-shirted crew member (NHL Season) gets sacrificed.

9. Cause and Effect Star Trek TNG - When the enterprise encounters a rift in the time-space continuum and they realize they are doomed to keep repeating recent history.

8.TOS When McCoy (Fehr) starts calling Spock(Bettman) a pointy-eared-green-blooded-hobgoblin and wondering if he has compassion/mercy or any feelings at all.

7.TNG - When Picard (Fehr) is stuck on the foreign planet and the alien (Bettman) only communicates in allegories and no one can figure out what he is saying.

6.Enterprise -Last Episode of Season 4. Basically everyone including the fans start to realize their is nothing they can do to keep the next season from being cancelled.

5.TOS - The Squire of Gothos - Where Kirk realizes the crew (players)are just play things for Trelane (Bettman/Owners) who is a lot more powerful than he realizes.

4.TNG - When they meet up with the Borg and realize that "Resistance is Futile" yet they refuse to give in

3.TOS (Various) Any time Scotty says "I am not a miracle worker"







2. TNG -When Data asks Geordi why humans are so greedy, stubborn and messed up and all Geordi can come up with is "Um you got me !?!?"

And the number one Star Trek scene that reflects the state of the NHL NHLPA CBA contract talks:

1.Wrath of Kahn: When Kirk realizes Kahn has left him with no hope underneath the planet: 

Happy Friday everyone!

Top Ten reasons people hate Nickelback

So for some reason, a ton of people seem to have a hate on for Nickelback - there's even been online petitions to keep them from playing at the halftime show for the Detroit Lions. So after much extensive research (like we do on all our Top Ten lists here at the Friday Funnies) here are my:

Top Ten reasons People hate Nickelback.

10. Turns out they are responsible for putting more reality TV shows on TV.

9. Haters never got their nickel back.

8. Nickelback once tried coaching a hockey team without being able to speak french.

7. Nickelback once asked for Tech support without a helpdesk ticket.

6. Nickelback members all too skinny (because they just don't eat)

5. People were angry over mixing up Chad Kroger with Peyton Manning (quarterback)

4. Nickelback coined the phrase "Chavril" as well as Bennifer, and Brangelina.

2. Nickelback stole the #3 Funny from the Top Ten Reasons why people hate Nickelback!

And the number one reason why people hate Nickelback. . .

1. Nickelback responsible for promoting Gary Bettman to NHL Commissioner!