Top Ten Hobbies during the NHL Lockout

This NHL Lockout thing is just draggging on and on. Just when we had a glimmer of hope last week with an offer from the NHL our hopes are dashed when they turn down 3 counter proposals from the NHLPA. So to help you endure those quiet wintery Saturday nights without hockey here are:

The Top Ten Hobbies during the NHL Lockout

10.Watch Grass Hockey/Field hockey (hey it's the only way you'll see green grass this winter where I come from)

9. Take up Photoshop so you can make pictures of Gary Bettman like these

8. Throwing Darts (like at pictures of Gary Bettman and Donald Fehr)

7. Watch Ice Skating  

6. Watch Curling (you can pretend the rocks hitting each other is Raffe Torres giving Gary Bettman a concussion).

5.Take up geography so you can follow which team is moving where like the Oilers to Seattle, The Islanders to Brooklyn, and the Nashville Predators to Markam Ontario.(and of of these is actually true!)

4.Go to University and study for a PHD in economics so you can actually decipher the cryptic logic of the actual NHL Proposal.  (How many ways can you split something 50/50??)

3.Take up Gockey (as seen on Dragon's Den)

2. Learn to dance Gangnam Style (like that trend hasn't jumped the shark already)

1. Plan a road trip to tour all the breweries in North America ( where else would you see as much beer as you do at a hockey game!?)

Top Ten Things #NobodyWouldSay

Here is a Top Ten list inspired by the Twitter:

Top Ten things #NobodyWouldSay:

10. My Apple iPhone has just too much darn battery life.

9.@itsWillyFerrell: "Can I borrow your Nickelback CD?" (It's true -everyone hates Nickelback)

8. "I can't find a Tim Hortons anywhere!?!"

7. "The Blue Bombers almost won that Labour Day Classic"

6.‏@_LaneyDollsz "I don't know.. let's Yahoo it!"

5. "Yes Honey - those pants do make your butt look big."

4. "I don't mind the NHL lockout I'll just watch the NBA"

3.  "I hope they come out with MORE reality TV Shows just like 'Here Comes Honey Booboo'"

2. "Gary Bettman loves hockey so much"

And the number one things Nobody would say:

1. "Hey Everybody would you like to double
date with Somebody and Anybody?"

Happy Friday everyone! 

--@Smith_Bill

Top Ten things so embarassing they would end the NHL lockout

It's amazing how quickly things change when someone gets embarrassed - like the NFL and the replacement referees. With a blown call in the Seattle-Green Bay game that swung an estimated quarter billion dollars in bets worldwide and "poof" the Refs and NFL came to an agreement just like that.

So I got to thinking "What would be so embarrassing for the NHL that it would end their lockout?

Top Ten things so embarrassing for the NHL it would end the lockout:

10. Media discover secret tape of Bettman and Owners insulting 47% of fans. Bettman denies it by saying-"Actually I said 97%"

9. NBC broadcasts an AHL game in the US and no one notices it is not the NHL.

8. Wayne Gretzky comes out saying he might start a new league and immediately all the players say they are willing to play for 24% less than their current contract.

7. NHL and NHLPA meet for 3 days on 'secondary issues' and can't agree on what kind of caviar to serve or whose limousine to use.

6. NHL comes out with their own Maps application "accidentally" placing the Oilers in Seattle.

5.Trying to outdo Clint Eastwood, Gary Bettman starts lecturing about 'entitlement' and 'Wide Gap' to an empty hockey arena.

4. The Detroit Red Wings owner Jim Devellano gets named in the XL foods tainted beef class action lawsuit. Develano defends himself by saying - "Hey the players are tainted."

3. At an NHLPA press conference someone starts playing the Hockey Night in Canada theme song and all the players begin to weep uncontrollably.

2. Sports media go to several individual owners for comment and they all reply "There's a lockout?"

And the number one thing that would be soooo embarrassing it would end the NHL Lockout:

1. NHL Disciplinarian Brendan Shanahan is sent a video of Shea Weber shoving someone head into the glass like a WWF wrestler and only gives him a $2500 fine. (Wait - What do you mean this already happened?!? I guess we'll all have to watch curling this winter.)


Happy Friday everyone!