Top Ten Entries around "BBM" in my dictionary

After lampooning the NHL owners and Gary Bettman for a few weeks I figure I'll go back to my other favorite target: Research in Motion. After seeing this tweet from @Blackberry on Twitter:

I felt compelled to demonstrate the double-edged sword nature of social media . . .

Top Ten words before and after BBM in my dictionary:

10. BB Gun (another toy)

9. BCNU (Be seeing you!)

8.AAPL and Android (note they both come BEFORE Blackberry)

7.Bieber (another fad)

6.Byebye

5.Bankruptcy

4.IBM

3.ABM

2.BUM (getting near the end...)

1.BBS (a forerunner in its day but then over run by bigger and better competing technology)




Happy Friday everyone!

Top Ten #ThingsIsaytoMuch Hashtags for Newbies

For those of you who have never been on twitter before - one of the cool features is crowd sourced humor.  Someone will come up with a short phrase and add a hashtag on it and then comedy ensues. Well most of the time.  This week the subject was "Things I say too much" so here is my adaption:


Top Ten things I say too much (or in Twitter Language #thingsIsaytomuch)

10.  "Is Music your last name or is Nothing your first name?" @Smith_Bill (yeah, twitter users aren't big on grammar - It's not like using twitter is rocket surgery or anything. )



9.  "What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas!" @PrinceHarry (twitter names start with @ and don't necessarily represent the person in question.

8. "Wide Gap" @GaryBettman

7.  "Inconceivable!" @Vizzini

6. "I'm Bored" @toomanykidsonsummerbreak

5."Then I'll give you some chores to do" @moms with kids who say #6

4."It's because I used to say "Would you like your Nickel back?"" @ChadKroger (Lead Singer of Nickelback)

3."Penny" @SheldonCooper

2."Owww. Who moved the furniture again?" @HelenKeller






1."Have you tried turning it on and off again?" @RoyfromITCrowd

Happy Friday everyone!


PS -Thanks to Mr Vector for the Vegas pic

Top Ten reasons Gary Bettman cant accept the NHLPA Counter Proposal

Canadian Press

Contrary to popular opinion Gary Bettman and the NHL Owners would love to accept the NHLPA's counter-proposal that starts by them taking less money. In no way do they want to 'lock out' the players or cause grief for the fans and they really, really do care about Professional Hockey and their fans. But while they really do want to accept it the couldn't possibly. I mean it's not like they are just a bunch of billionaire whiners trying to squeeze more money out of the common fan - just ask them.  

Top Ten Excuses er Reasons Gary Bettman and the NHL Owners just can't accept the NHLPA counter proposal:

10. Presented on the 2nd Tuesday of the month and as everyone knows - it's bad luck to agree to a NHLPA CBA Counter proposal on the 2nd Tuesday of the month.

9. Actually makes sense to a 3rd grader.

8. Owners lost too much money betting on Olympic Badminton.

7. Owners thought it said "Revenue Cher" and didn't want to pay another person.

6. Bettman wanted to be the only commissioner to preside over 3 work stoppages.

5. Owners would have to put off buying a 3rd yacht for a month.

4. Had a spelling error on page 867.

3. Donald Fehr didn't accept Bettman's friend request on Facebook.

2. NHLPA forgot to phrase the proposal in the form of a question.

And the number one excuse for rejecting the proposal:

1.Because they didn't think of it first!

Happy Friday Everyone!

Just imagine if the NHL Owners had asked for what they really wanted . . .

Top 10 things the Doctor really said about the 5 Little Monkeys

You have all heard it before...

10. Well I'll be a monkey's uncle... er ... Doctor.

9. I am sorry but your health plan does cover monkeys.

8. Can you call back later? I am just about to tee off.

7. If you aren't willing to get them to stop jumping - can you at least get them some helmets?

6. I would like to help you but I have to examine Sidney Crosby, Chris Pronger, Marc Savard and a host of other NHL hockey players with concussions and concussion like symptoms.

5. Is one of those monkeys the guy from the Subway commercial?

4. Oh No it's Rise of the Planet of the Apes! Run!!!

3. Let me guess - Monkeys jumping on the bed again?

2. Take 2 bananas and call me in the morning! (Ba-dum ching!)

And the number 1 thing the Dr. really said. . .

1. Dammit Jim - I'm a Doctor not a Zoologist!

Happy Friday everyone!